Life's ups and downs

This last week has been crazy.

Sunday was Easter, which was great.

Monday morning I found out that a sweet little five year old boy from our ward we just moved out of passed away on Easter from a 4-wheeling accident.

Wednesday we went through the temple with Makayla for her first time (very special!).

Thursday, we went to the funeral of the little boy. His dad (our friend) said to me, "Make sure you squeeze him tight every day." with tears in his eyes (referring to our child coming soon).

Saturday we celebrated Makayla and Allen getting married! Oh my gosh it was so sweet. They are such a great couple and I couldn't be happier for them!

And alllllllll week this baby has been doing olympic sized events inside my belly!

I just feel like life is crazy. There are so many things that happen that can jolt us and remind us the sanctity of life and relationships and how quickly they can be taken away. And there are things that can just bring so much joy as well. I'm SO happy for Makayla I can hardly stand it, and at the very same moment I am SO sad for our friends who just lost their son after only five years.

I'm grateful for my knowledge of the Savior, and of the plan of Salvation. It would be so much harder without it. One of the speakers at the funeral said when he was preparing his talk he felt an overwhelming feeling that Landyn (the boy who passed away) was reunited with his grandma (who passed a few years ago). I believe that. I am just sad for the family that had to say goodbye so early.

The temple is so special. I love that whenever I go I am reminded of the smallness of this earth life, and how great the plan of salvation is. It truly is the plan of happiness! It helps bring perspective and peace.

I hope I can use these experiences to be a better mom and a better person who cherishes the moments more!

A little catchup

1. I just completed my (hopefully) last tax season ever! I mean, really that's kind of a big statement and an exaggeration since I still plan on doing some tax returns each year for friends and family and potential others if they want. I have no idea how this mom thing will go for me but if I can handle a small (and I mean SMALL) small small side business of doing taxes once a year, it'd be awesome. But let it be known, I have officially worked 7 tax seasons as a professional.

2. I am a mess over the nursery. I have all these booming ideas and then I worry late into the early hours of the morning, PAST midnight, when I need to be sleeping, all about if I would regret painting a chalkboard wall, or if it will look stupid to have a rug under the rocking chair, or if a dresser is really a good idea in such a small room or if I should go with a changing table that is smaller, and if I should do a garland, or if that'd be too busy, and THE LIST GOES ON! I mean seriously, I worry about these things and it keeps me from sleeping! It drives me bonkers! The whole night I say to myself, "Danielle, worry about it tomorrow- just go to sleep....PLEASE just go to sleep...COME ON NOW JUST STOP THINKING!" It rarely works and I've decided I probably will just be like this until its done. So I plow forward.

3. Paul finished the crib and it. is. GORGEOUS! I mean, seriously. Better than I could've imagined. I'm inlove with it! If all things go wrong in that nursery, that crib makes up for it. It's amazing. I'm so lucky.

4. I go through spurts of eating superbly, and then pretty much not great. I usually have a green smoothie each morning no matter what (banana, oats, chia, spinach, orange juice concentrate, frozen strawberries, water), so that's good. But sometimes...like...yesterday. I ate an ENTIRE box of macaroni and cheese by myself for lunch! Yikes! But today I ate a huge spinach salad with tons of veggies and an entire avocado...so you know, I am hoping it all balances out.

5. I'm SO excited for this baby to come! I have a feeling he'll be the most wonderful human being ever to have existed. Also, I am a little nervous. I have these fears that I'll just...suck at being a mom. Anytime I voice these opinions everyone is like- blah blahlbalh you will be amazing! I know, I know. But I can't help it! I don't KNOW what I haven't experienced yet, you know? Like, what if I have a baby and HATE IT?!?! This is my worst nightmare. I don't believe it's possible but there's this fear (I'm sure coming from the devil) that I will be awful or something. Also, I am starting to think...ah! I need diapers! Isn't that kind of one of those necessities? Oh, and uhh...FORMULA??!! Like, I'm not breastfeeding my baby...so I should probably have some on hand! And I need to look up like...how much a baby goes through formula and how fast. Cause do I just get one can, or a billion? These are the things that suddenly come to me and I get all crazy anxious about. I just need to do my research and do my shopping.

6. I am finding that I feel so cramped and squished...this is seriously not good since I still have two weeks before I even hit the third trimester! It will just get a hundred times worse, I know. Everytime I bend over it is such an ordeal! And everytime I move from one side to the other, it is so hard. I'm seriously concerned about that third trimester. How will I survive!

7. We both feel so blessed! Life is just amazing. We are so happy and excited about everything in our life.

Hopefully my next post will be pictures of the baby room eh? And maybe I'll be sleeping better.