Because apparently third trimester is when you no longer know how to walk or go shopping without trying to kill yourself!
This started mostly the other day when I was at TJmaxx...squatting down to look at something on the bottom shelf. Nothing extraordinary...you know, normal action and all. As I begin to stand, I feel my center of gravity shifting, and my entire body shifting backwards....its as if time was moving in SLOW MOTION. Imagine those cartoons...you know, like where someone moves backwards a hundred steps to gain their balance and then crashes into something causing a ruckus. Well, thank the dear heavens that didn't happen! I did in fact, move backwards what felt like a hundred steps (but it couldn't have been more than five since I was in an aisle) before gaining my balance and nervously looking around me to see if anyone had seen this embarrassing display of pregnant balance.
But, whatever pride I gained in that experience for recovering, certainly came back to haunt me this morning as I was walking up the steps I walk up every single morning for work. Oh, you know...just TWO cement steps. Well for whatever reason, my pregnant foot decided to catch on this step and I STRAIGHT UP FELL ON THE GROUND, AND RAN INTO THE DOOR TRYING TO RECOVER, which I did not! If you're wondering, I scraped two toes, a knee, and an elbow to the point of BLOOD. Also, tore a hole in the pants of my MOTHERHOOD MATERNITY pants! That's right! So, those are becoming shorts I suppose. Oh also it caused my big toenail to rip halfway off...which is just great since I was planning on getting a pedicure soon.
Of course the first thing I did before even getting up was look around to make sure no one saw me. No one did! That I know of! Thank the heavens!
Next I thought- oh my gosh they probably heard me run into the door, I better get up before they come and see me on the ground!
I got in the office and both my co-workers were headed toward the door with worried faces- "was that you?!"
Oh...yes, it was me. In all my pregnant glory!
Got myself bandaged up...and let me tell you...these wounds sting! I haven't like...scraped myself since I was a child. Like seriously, the last wounds like this I remember are from bike riding...they are NOT fun. No wonder kids cry when they fall off their bikes. I didn't cry though! Thank goodness. That' would've been embarrassing.
The good thing is, that I am realizing now...is...I didn't land on my back or belly, which could have been an issue...and the little babe is moving around like he always does when I drink my green smoothie...so all should be well I suppose.
By the way, have I told you how ready I am to have this baby? Like READY. I am telling you- there were times when I'd get in positions to try and make him move like crazy because it was just the most fun. It still is...BUT, now I have to get out of those positions because every movement is like- YOWZA BOY! What organ are you pressing into now??!! Most things are just uncomfortable these days, and things like getting a new roll of toilet paper from the bottom shelf of the cupboard have me grumbling.
Oh well, its all worth it. I just feel like this will be the longest 6 weeks of my life waiting! Mostly I am just so excited to see this boy and mother him on the outside :)