Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Watch your step Danielle!

Because apparently third trimester is when you no longer know how to walk or go shopping without trying to kill yourself!

This started mostly the other day when I was at TJmaxx...squatting down to look at something on the bottom shelf. Nothing extraordinary...you know, normal action and all. As I begin to stand, I feel my center of gravity shifting, and my entire body shifting backwards....its as if time was moving in SLOW MOTION. Imagine those cartoons...you know, like where someone moves backwards a hundred steps to gain their balance and then crashes into something causing a ruckus. Well, thank the dear heavens that didn't happen! I did in fact, move backwards what felt like a hundred steps (but it couldn't have been more than five since I was in an aisle) before gaining my balance and nervously looking around me to see if anyone had seen this embarrassing display of pregnant balance.

But, whatever pride I gained in that experience for recovering, certainly came back to haunt me this morning as I was walking up the steps I walk up every single morning for work. Oh, you know...just TWO cement steps. Well for whatever reason, my pregnant foot decided to catch on this step and I STRAIGHT UP FELL ON THE GROUND, AND RAN INTO THE DOOR TRYING TO RECOVER, which I did not! If you're wondering, I scraped two toes, a knee, and an elbow to the point of BLOOD. Also, tore a hole in the pants of my MOTHERHOOD MATERNITY pants! That's right! So, those are becoming shorts I suppose. Oh also it caused my big toenail to rip halfway off...which is just great since I was planning on getting a pedicure soon.

Of course the first thing I did before even getting up was look around to make sure no one saw me. No one did! That I know of! Thank the heavens!

Next I thought- oh my gosh they probably heard me run into the door, I better get up before they come and see me on the ground!

I got in the office and both my co-workers were headed toward the door with worried faces- "was that you?!"

Oh...yes, it was me. In all my pregnant glory!

Got myself bandaged up...and let me tell you...these wounds sting! I haven't like...scraped myself since I was a child. Like seriously, the last wounds like this I remember are from bike riding...they are NOT fun. No wonder kids cry when they fall off their bikes. I didn't cry though! Thank goodness. That' would've been embarrassing.

The good thing is, that I am realizing now...is...I didn't land on my back or belly, which could have been an issue...and the little babe is moving around like he always does when I drink my green smoothie...so all should be well I suppose.

By the way, have I told you how ready I am to have this baby? Like READY. I am telling you- there were times when I'd get in positions to try and make him move like crazy because it was just the most fun. It still is...BUT, now I have to get out of those positions because every movement is like- YOWZA BOY! What organ are you pressing into now??!! Most things are just uncomfortable these days, and things like getting a new roll of toilet paper from the bottom shelf of the cupboard have me grumbling.

Oh well, its all worth it. I just feel like this will be the longest 6 weeks of my life waiting! Mostly I am just so excited to see this boy and mother him on the outside :)