It's 6:49am on Sunday morning and it's my birthday!
The snow is falling, my body is sick (cough, cold, bleh), yet I am very happy and very grateful.
Yesterday, among feeling sick and gross (coughing up snot is so not fun...Clayton tries his best not to glare at me when it happens, he gets soooo grossed out), I looked in the mirror and saw my pregnant belly and smiled. There were so many moments in recent years where I truly wondered if I would ever be pregnant.
Did you know I considered not even trying? I was too scared of the possibilities of passing Lyme to my baby. I thought, how selfish of you to consider it. Well, research and doctors helped me change my mind about that and a LOT of prayer and meditation.
Then there was the fact that we simply couldn't get pregnant by ourselves. I thought, maybe this is a sign from Heavenly Father. Maybe this is our blessing, the inevitable.
But as you all know it all worked out and I am indeed pregnant, with our first sweet child. He kicks me all the time and moves around and I just love him to pieces already!
I've thought a lot about what I want to do this year, my 26th year. Honestly it's been tough. I have thought about making goals like I did last year. I accomplished a lot of them and did a lot of fun things (not all of them) that I wouldn't have had I not made the list. But honestly when I made that list I had a goal in mind. DISTRACT. My life was soooo not where I wanted it to be. Clay and I were both just working and surviving. Hoping that something of hope would come soon. That's the truth. I wanted to take charge of my life and make things happen. And I did! And it was great. We had such a happy, fun, summer...which I attribute to my list :)
Mostly this year I want to just be the best mother I possibly can. I think these things describe a good mom: loves God, loves family. When I think of my mom, who I think has done (and still does) a marvelous job at the motherhood duty, those are the two things I think. I hope so badly I can be like her.
But, I think I still want to think of 26 things I want to accomplish this year. It's fun. And motivating.
Well, I've finished my tea and my nose is finally clear (the reason I woke up is my nasal decongestant wore off...I squirted some more in and now I'm clear finally), so I think I'll go back to sleep.
Happy Birthday! I am glad to be alive.